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Cleaning House
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Author Topic: Cleaning House  (Read 10831 times)
camosled
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« on: September 04, 2012, 05:22:37 PM »

Cleaning House--thoughts post marriage, pre kids.
Jeff Mishler

Two years ago I took inventory of my recreational obsessions.   In the shadow of my marriage, certain realities came to light.   I’m 45.  We’re gonna have kids.  To be fair to my working wife, I can’t really justify the schedule I’ve kept for the past, oh, 30 years.  The duck hunting, steelhead fishing, trout fishing, bow hunting, shell reloading, fly tying, photography, writing, golfing, drinking, dating, more drinking, more dating, international traveling, film directing—my vagabond lifestyle needed to be assessed.  Time was the root of every decision I was about to make.  Which of these essential life elements would be axed from the line up because of my soon-to-be less-than-desired available time? 

I considered the possibility that I might encourage my wife to take up a couple of these essential lifestyle elements, minus the drinking and dating of course.  But if my plan worked, and she in fact did pursue a parallel life of outdoor passions, I’d never be alone.  In this simple context, that’s not a good thing.  Between the trips with my buddies, whom I’ve neglected for years, and her, I’d always be rowing the boat, or passing on the shot because that’s what you do when you invite someone along.  They get first water.  They get the jump on the mallards dropping into the spread.  They are on-point while you spend the first seven days of a ten-day elk season calling.  Hmm.  A best friend who likes everything you do leads to a life of want---simply wanting to be alone, sometimes.
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Rick J
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« Reply #1 on: September 05, 2012, 03:21:17 PM »

Thank god my wife who I love dearly and who has many likes similar to mine just does not understand fishing!!!!!! But she also likes it when I go often - she also seems to like her space so I have the best of both worlds - get to fish with some very close friends or alone and do other things with her and she gets to do the same!!
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swingman
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« Reply #2 on: September 05, 2012, 03:31:52 PM »

Took my wife fishing once, she hated it, that made me a very happy man (been with her for 28 years).
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JDJones
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« Reply #3 on: September 05, 2012, 04:39:35 PM »

Cleaning House--thoughts post marriage, pre kids.
Jeff Mishler

So,,,,who won? Tongue
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riveraddict
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« Reply #4 on: September 05, 2012, 04:49:29 PM »

   Yup, there was a time when I thought, just how cool would it be to have a girlfriend/wife that loved to fish... anymore I keep in mind the saying, "Be careful what you wish for"!
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camodrifter
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« Reply #5 on: September 05, 2012, 08:51:01 PM »

My wife loves to fish!  Just not with the intensity that I fish with.  I love to spend time with her fishing and have had many wonderful moments that would never have happened had we not been fishing together.  Fortunalty my wife is also a very smart and capable woman who enjoys doing her things as well.  She does not need me to constantly entertain her.  Some days she decideds she wants to go and on others she does other things ( When steelheading).

IF we are fishing for springers then thats a different deal.  She is the best deck hand a dude could ever ask for!  She is as hard core as it gets.  At o dark thiry she is making breakfast burritos while I am rigging the boat!  I love my life!!!  I would rather fish with my wife than most other people.  Its super cool to give the word that we are swithching to back bouncing and she is rigged and ready to go with the other rod as soon as we drop into the slot. 

Ohh ya!  She can jack a spey line better than most dudes! 
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camosled
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« Reply #6 on: September 05, 2012, 11:30:03 PM »

My wife loves to fish!  Just not with the intensity that I fish with.  I love to spend time with her fishing and have had many wonderful moments that would never have happened had we not been fishing together.  Fortunalty my wife is also a very smart and capable woman who enjoys doing her things as well.  She does not need me to constantly entertain her.  Some days she decideds she wants to go and on others she does other things ( When steelheading).

IF we are fishing for springers then thats a different deal.  She is the best deck hand a dude could ever ask for!  She is as hard core as it gets.  At o dark thiry she is making breakfast burritos while I am rigging the boat!  I love my life!!!  I would rather fish with my wife than most other people.  Its super cool to give the word that we are swithching to back bouncing and she is rigged and ready to go with the other rod as soon as we drop into the slot. 

Ohh ya!  She can jack a spey line better than most dudes! 


Well, there is that side of the coin too....

JM






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swingman
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« Reply #7 on: September 06, 2012, 02:54:34 PM »

My wife loves to fish!  Just not with the intensity that I fish with.  I love to spend time with her fishing and have had many wonderful moments that would never have happened had we not been fishing together.  Fortunalty my wife is also a very smart and capable woman who enjoys doing her things as well.  She does not need me to constantly entertain her.  Some days she decideds she wants to go and on others she does other things ( When steelheading).

IF we are fishing for springers then thats a different deal.  She is the best deck hand a dude could ever ask for!  She is as hard core as it gets.  At o dark thiry she is making breakfast burritos while I am rigging the boat!  I love my life!!!  I would rather fish with my wife than most other people.  Its super cool to give the word that we are swithching to back bouncing and she is rigged and ready to go with the other rod as soon as we drop into the slot. 

Ohh ya!  She can jack a spey line better than most dudes! 

Hmmmm... you poor guy... just kidding pal, sounds like you have found your nirvana....
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speyday
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« Reply #8 on: October 06, 2012, 08:30:35 AM »

My own experience:

When kids started hitting about 9-10  (2010) I started to get fishing life back.
It meant I could start taking them out to gradually more wild places.
Now that they can wade and do a float with me, about 1/2 my trips are with the kids.

My wife and I teetered on divorce because of my fishing addiciton. I publicly screamed this out in a mid life crisis post a few years ago, threatening to divorce and move to Oregon and buy a steelhead bum house.
But timing, grace, and my fatherhood finally intersected at a place where my fishing is less selfish.

Those first 9-10 years where I needed to be heavily involved with kids were a dark ages of my angling. I sold off a lot of gear;  I tied a lot of flies in the basement.  Now Im stocking back up.
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camosled
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« Reply #9 on: October 06, 2012, 12:16:57 PM »

Cleaning House--thoughts post marriage, pre kids.
Jeff Mishler

So,,,,who won? Tongue

I sold 4 spey rods. Didn't notice the loss.  Traded in one rifle, for a more practical one.  Sold a wall tent, then bought another one.  Added more storage in the garage by laying out 4 x 8 sheets of plywood over the rafters and stashed the stuff I knew I'd use at least once a year (which is more than I thought) and made the garage look more organized, giving the impression I'd actually pared down my possessions.   

Don't think the wife noticed, meaning I might have been the only one who thought I needed to get rid of stuff.  I certainly don't hunt and fish as much as I did pre kids, but I still get out.  No doubt I will though as they get older.

JM

 
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Rob Allen
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« Reply #10 on: December 09, 2012, 01:09:15 PM »

Of  all the people in the world  i would rather  fish with my wife  than anyone else.  I prefer it when she  catches  fish  she prefers it when I catch  fish.
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camosled
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« Reply #11 on: December 10, 2012, 09:49:57 PM »

You're very lucky.

JM
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Rob Allen
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« Reply #12 on: December 11, 2012, 12:55:36 AM »

no blessed
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whaus
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« Reply #13 on: January 04, 2013, 04:30:29 PM »

Yall just need to know where to look. I met my girl in our wildlife and fisheries resources major. Shes a duck specialist and I'm in fisheries. If I don't b*#$h about her birding, she doesn't mention my fishing, haha.

Not to mention shes my favorite duck hunting buddy/duck cleaner.  Grin
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